Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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