Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
