I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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