Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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