I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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