I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i now understand why vodka
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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