Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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