I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
