do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
