woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
