I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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