I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
