Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
