If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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