Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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