Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
