Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
