hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
