i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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