I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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