Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she smelled like a LAN party
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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