my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
