we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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