I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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