I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Acid is not a monday night drug
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
