I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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