I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
