Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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