my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
