He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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