she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
