the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
