Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Duck Duck Cougar?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
