I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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