those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
