they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
