We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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