TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Panties = found
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
