sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
