i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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