Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
