My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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