do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
