She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize