Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
