She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
