I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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