dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
