I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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