Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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